Thursday, December 30, 2010

Top 10 Things that Kept Us Sane in 2010

Hello. Long time, no blog. But while you can’t count on much from this blog, you can always count on a bunch of lists being compiled at the end of the year. Couple that with a massive snow day and you’re bound to get a bunch of lists that I came up with while showering.

Let’s start out with the list of Top 10 Things that Kept Us Sane in 2010, as we have done in 2008 and 2009.

2010 was a bitch of a year. We keep thinking that this past year was the shittiest year ever. But 2010 really took the cake. We had a Cavs epic playoff meltdown followed by "The Decision", the Tea Party going mainstream and making politicians too willing to start things like this which basically makes Uncle Jeb a peer-reviewer for science grants, the Haiti earthquake, the Oil Spill (complete with ranking member of the Committee on Energy and Commerce Joe Barton-R apologizing to BP for everyone being so mean to them), pussy Democrats doing things like firing someone because Andrew Breitbart posted something on youtube, our free cable got phased out by the digital revolution, and I had to write my MS Thesis which I never want to fucking look at again.

If it weren’t for the following group of people and things we certainly would have gone postal on ya’ll months ago.

10. The Sporkful

“It’s not for foodies, it’s for eaters.” If you’re looking for a recipe for coq au vin, you’re looking in the wrong place. No, Dan and Mark would rather use their podcasts to educate the populous on proper buffet strategy, leftover storage and reheating techniques, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (that was a two-parter!). They also started making videos for Slate in which they create ridiculous sandwiches, make Four Loko, and other awesome endeavors.

9. Keenan Thompson

I think Keenan Thompson might be the most underrated Saturday Night Live cast member ever. He’s never mentioned in the pantheon of great cast members, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a skit of his and not laugh. This year he took it to a new level with the Rent is Too Damn High party guy.

8. Wonkette

Pretty much here because of the hilarious headlines they produce day after day, distilling the essence of conservative paranoia and victimology. Other times, the Wonkette headlines are more earnest-funny (“Please Convict Tom DeLay Already), and other times shaming-funny (“Republicans Do Not Care For 9/11 Welfare Queens (First Responders)”), and other times just funny-funny (“Americans Having More Sex In Butt”).

As always, the “Wonkette Guide to the War on Christmasis fun.

See also, “John Bolton Has An Opinion About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks” and “Cool Rush Limbaugh Photoshop Reminds You Obama Is a Black Gang Member

Update: From this morning."
A Children’s Treasury of ‘GZ Mosk’ Activists Against Justin Bieber"

7. Eggo Waffles

Yes, they are incredibly bad for you, and probably only one notch up on Pop-Tart as part of this complete breakfast that will kill you. But when you’ve got two kids in the morning who are like those angry, fast zombies in 28 Days Later until they get food in their stomach, you’ve got to toss something at them. Cold cereal won’t do. Toast requires additional work, like buttering. Eggo Waffles: toss them in the toaster (or not, if it’s critical situation) and you’ve got a terrible breakfast that the kids will devour like locusts. You’re good until 10:30 at least.

(P.S. Love the "Homestyle" Eggos. Nothing says "Homestyle" quite like a perfectly rectangular prism box with 60 frozen waffles inside."

6. The Icelandic Volcano Ash Cloud

Most people would probably put this among the things that made this year suck, but not me. Check this shit out.

ASH CLOUD!!!!!!!

5. The Nintendo Wii

This is a rather recent addition to the List of Things Keeping Us Sane, brought on by an early Christmas present. If you’re like us, then you hate going outside when it’s cold. And it’s hard not to become a fat slob when you don’t go outside. Here’s the thing: if I were to force our kids to run in place, CPS would take them away. But put them in front of a TV screen where they are chasing a kitty, and you’ve got exercise!

4. Aziz Ansari

Mrs. Supercomputer and I saw Aziz this Summer in Denver and he killed us. Like Kenan Thompson, he rarely says a word without cracking us up.

3. Peyton Hillis

In a year of remarkable suckitude for all Cleveland sports, Hillis is pretty much the only athlete not to totally suck. Are people overreacting to his moderate success this year? Yes. Is part of his appeal the novelty of a white running back? Sure. I’d be willing to bet he’s not even a 1000 yard rusher next year. But this year, he was awesome and gave us things like this.

2. Girl Talk

By mixing 100s of different tracks into a sprawling (free) album, Girl Talk created A) a wonderful piece of nostalgia and B), a fun hour-and-a-half time killer. If you work in an office and your co-workers don’t mind a consistent stream of expletives and/or you have headphones, you can spin All Day and crank out a ton of work.

1. The Wire

Having heard nothing but great things about The Wire, I was sort of waiting for a rainy couple months to get into this. Thesis writing time was as good as any. And for the next three months, Mrs. Supercomputer banged out episode after episode, evening after evening. There’s probably not much more to say than this: you know all those annoying co-workers and friends that keep saying “OH MAN, YOU’VE JUST GOT TO WATCH THE WIRE! IT’S AMAZING!”? They’re right.

(P.S. Here's a fun game: for those who haven't seen the entire series, see if you can guess which ONE of the four gentlemen above does not get killed by Season 5!)


Kelly said...

Fabulous list. Comments: Keenan - did you ever watch All That or Keenan & Kel? Talk about underrated. Aziz and The Wire are both in my queue (so is True Blood - time for "adult" vampire stories). Girltalk is on my calendar - have tix to his Jan 14th show. Can't wait. You just made me crave a strawberry poptart, no frosting. Finally, regarding the strawfecta, I prefer just to use as many straws in ONE margarita as possible, mostly to impress guys.

gk said...

I never did see Keenan on those shows. I didn't really ever watch proper kids shows. I can, however, recite the entire cast of "Cheers".

And if you're into pop-tarts, you should check out the Sporkful's video on pop-tart creations: