Thursday, March 19, 2009

BRAINDUMP! (Volume 1)

When you go to a K-mart, you will not see a car made since 1990.

You know what bugs me about Gandalf? He doesn't do any wizard-y things. I don't think he casts a single spell the entire series. He doesn't shoot fireballs. He doesn't transfigure anybody. Seems like a pretty shitty wizard to me.

What's sad, is that Jon Stewart is probably the most hard-hitting, combative, investigative journalist on television.

That said, Stephen Colbert is simply untouchable right now.

The Visitor was a fantastic movie. Mrs. Supercomputer votes for Richard Jenkins over Sean Penn for best actor. We're not willing to go that far.

Speaking of Jenkins, Adrian Brody gets the winner for Worst Introduction Ever at the Oscars. Probably not a good thing to mention how you had to Google his name when you're trying to shower him with accolades there, Adrian. By the way, your career has been on the downswing ever since you kissed Halle Berry. Hope it was worth it.

Putting shoes on a one year old is a quixotic adventure.

You know what's extra fun about Scrubs this season? NBC switches the time and date each and every week! So it's like a treasure hunt just to find out when it's on! Wheee!

So the original story of Curious George by H.A. Rey goes like this (this is true):
  • White guy in a garish suit travels to Africa.
  • White guy captures a monkey.
  • White guy takes the monkey across the ocean to America against his will.
  • H.A. Rey must have been one racist motherfucker.

Speaking of shoes for kids, some more fatherly advice: pay no damned attention to the sizes. In fact, you need to double the sizes. My theory: the children in which the country where the shoes are made have incredibly small feet. We need to dispatch the Secretary of Commerce (if we have one yet) to the Philippines straightaway.

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