Thursday, January 29, 2009

Colorado Weather 2, DMS 0


Remember our first battle with Colorado weather? That didn't go so well. And that was during August.

This past Tuesday, we decided to ride our bike to work. After all, it had snowed on Monday so it had been a few days and we were itching to get back on the bike (since we spend the other 23 hours of the day sitting on the couch and eating McRib sandwiches).

Always the eager beaver, we stepped outside, and onto the bike and let 'er rip.

...

Before we moved here, we would usually try to garner some laughs, when asked about the cold weather, by joking, "I mean, really, once it gets below 20 degrees, does it really make a difference? At that point, it's just fricking cold, right? Ha Ha!"

Wrong. There is a difference. Oh my is there a difference. Allow us to give you a scale of how your mind set is as the temperature drops and descends below the freezing point:

30 degrees: "Wow, it's really cold! Good thing I'm wearing all these layers!"
20 degrees:"Yeesh, I better get inside fast! My face is becoming numb!"
10 degrees:"Holy fuck! The layers, they do nothing!!!!"
0 degrees:"Dammit! I'm never going outside again! I can't feel anything from the eyes down!"
-10 degrees:"Hmmm.... I feel strangely warm. I think I'll lie down here in this pile of snow and take a little nap."

The morning we biked to school it was -8 degrees at our work. That's right. We were two degrees away from collapsing in the snow and not being discovered until either a mountain lion did or when the snow melted, like in, you know, June.

Have you ever been so cold that when you step into a super-hot shower you don't know if it's hot or cold? It's like your entire body just says, "Aw fuck it, I'm turning off those nerves since YOU'RE obviously not doing anything about it." That's how our body was for 6 hours. We had an icicle on our eyelash (that is not a joke).

Needless to say, we learned a few things that morning: Never start a land war in Asia. And don't ride your bike when it's -8 degrees.

4 comments:

Adam said...

And this is better than Texas heat?

gk said...

i think so. ask me again in a few months.

Maureen said...

This is one of the funniest blogs ever... I secretly stalk it, and then relay the funniest tidbits to my Jeff, and that usually results in a full blog relay.... Thank you for the laughs.

Kath said...

You are SO RIGHT. So very right.