Since then it's pretty clear that the McCain campaign have really been playing to the stupid more than ever.)
We're not sure when the revelation occured. We think it was somewhere in between Sarah Palin inciting boos at the mention on the New York Times and worse, Katie Couric and Tim Robbins on The Daily Show pleading that he just wants a smart president, that we Eureka-ed a theory:
In modern times, the United States has always voted for the dumber of the two presidential candidates.
What are "modern times?" Well, let's put the theory to the test.
2004: George W. Bush over John Kerry. I think we'd all agree that Kerry is a smarter person than George W. Bush.
2000: George W. Bush over Al Gore. Most definitely.
1996: Bill Clinton over Bob Dole. I'd say the dumber person won.
1992: Bill Clinton over George HW Bush and Ross Perot. I'd say that the dumbest person won.
1988: George HW Bush over Michael Dukakis. HW was smart, but Dukakis was probably smarter. Maybe not street wise, but certainly book sense.
1984: Ronald Reagan over Walter Mondale. Good Lord how far back does this theory hold?!
1980: Ronald Reagen over Jimmy Carter. It certainly holds here.
1976: Jimmy Carter over Gerald Ford. This one's a bit tough. We're still not sure if Jimmy Carter (a.k.a. "History's Greatest Monster") is overly smart or not. I mean, he seems pretty smart, but anyone that carries the entire Deep South in a presidential election probably isn't that smart. Besides, we're starting to get in that time that the weird Democrat-Republican / North-South inversion happened, where all the dumb, racist hicks started voting Republican instead of Democrat. So we'll go ahead and shut down this theory here, although certainly Ford wasn't exactly Thomas Edison.
But it's incredible. The last seven elections have been won by the dumber candidate. Really it's astonishing. You can have your polls, your electoral models and I'll save you a bunch of time with my "It's the Stupidity, Stupid" theory.
What's fun about this theory is that we can create hypothetical matchups! Who would win if Ronald Reagan ran against Bill Clinton? Give 'em an IQ test! Lower score wins.
So Barack, I'd either start preparing your concession speech now, or hit yourself in the head with a hammer a few times is you want to win this thing.
(Here's a link to listen to it.)