Saturday, August 30, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "Countdown to Blogthday" Edition

It's hard to believe this baby is almost two years old. This Wednesday marks the second anniversary of this humble blog. To celebrate, we're going to get real meta.

The other day we were considering the CO move and how different (and better) our life is compared to 10 years ago. Well, there's lots of stuff we left out. And continuing in that sense of how things have transgressed over the past 10 years, we made ourselves some nice graphs (not unlike out "blogging truths") detailing the year-by-year evolving of what makes DMS tick.


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Cracker - "Nostalgia"

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Man, I Love a Good Peach



I don't think it's hyperbole for me to say that there is simply no better food in this world than a perfectly ripe peach. They key of course is that the peach has to be at the absolute pinnacle of ripeness. And if you happen to land on that sweet spot of ripeness in your peach, you are in for a taste of heaven itself.

Hitting that sweet spot of ripeness is difficult to be sure. In fact, conversely there is probably nothing more disappointing than biting into a peach only to discover it is under ripe or overripe. Under ripe and it tastes like nothing. Or like some sort of wannabe apple. Overripe and it's like brandishing your mouth with bitter baby food or something. And the texture just isn't what it should be.

Ah! The texture of a perfectly ripe peach! Unlike the crunchiness of an apple which can be quite jarring, or the mushiness of a pear, the perfectly ripe peach offers the perfect amount of give and take for your teeth to enjoy.

But unfortunately it's that prime ripeness time that makes the peach so sought after. It's almost like Ahab's white whale at times. If you miss that often minuscule time window, you've got nothing but disappointment between your lips.

How minuscule is that time window? It seems like it can be perhaps a day and perhaps but a few hours. Look at a peach, come back in a few hours and it might be too late. So you have to take advantage of a perfectly ripe peach when you can. Because once that window is closed, it will never open again for that peach.

Man, do I ever love a good peach.

Perhaps equally frustrating is the fact that the variable of when the actual peach was picked is entirely out of your control. Each peach has its own personal proper picking time, yet large scale farming obviously follows the need to pick uniformally. So oftentimes it's as much of a crapshoot more than anything else.

With a lot of fruits and vegetables you can kind of tell when it's been picked properly. But with a peach you really can't. Because at the store, you're not really buying it to eat right then and there, or even right when you get home. You're buying it in anticipation of eating it in a couple days. Because almost none of the peaches in the produce section are at peak post-picking ripeness. The have perhaps a few days, perhaps a few hours before they will achieve their potential as the most wondrous of all gustatory endeavors.

If you've ever had a perfectly ripe peach you'd agree that there is nothing more fantastic.



The instant you bite into a peach, you know if it's perfectly ripe or not. Even bystanders can tell. If you see someone bite into a peach and hesitate, wince, or even cringe, you know that the peach was eaten before its time or past its prime. On the other hand, if you see said person just delve into the peach upon first bite, you know it was the right time. It almost becomes incontrollable. You don't take a bite, wait, and take another bite. You gorge yourself immediately. You don't even pay attention to anyone or anything around you. It's like you eat it as if it were your first meal in days. If it's at the proper time and all the variables have been properly aligned for that peach, you lose yourself in that peach. You attack it almost, with no regard for stem or pit or even proper manners.

Jeez, do I ever love peaches!

A perfectly ripe peach, if indeed at that apex of ripeness, will be consumed in about 30-45 seconds. The carnage is palpable as after the half-minute is up and peach's juice is splayed all over your hands and even arms. That's the sign that the peach was perfect.

But that is what's so vexing about a good peach: all the signs of its ripeness are only evident after the fact. A peach can look beautiful and perfectly colored. It can even have the proper tautness of skin and it still not be that ever so wonderful peach experience.

God I love a good peach.

What's more amazing is that the peach flavor is almost never properly achieved or recreated. Have you ever had peach yogurt? The little bits of peach taste nothing like the wonderful perfectly ripe peach experience. Peach flavored candy? Hardly. Even canned peaches pale in comparison to a properly picked, properly aged, properly eaten peach. Too, the canned peaches often have rust on them, which will turn you off of peaches for a while.

The seasonal nature of peaches also contributes to the unending quest for a perfect peach. Don't even bother trying to find a good peach outside of late Summer. It's just not going to happen. And don't even bother with the frozen kind. Because, while they may be picked at prime ripeness, they are chopped up, frozen and all strewn together with potentially unripe peaches.

It's as if you're playing the lottery when it comes to peaches. And just like the scratch-and-win tickets, it is not until you take your first bite of a peach that you know you've hit paydirt.



There is simply nothing better than a perfectly ripe peach. It far transcends any other fruit you could possibly enjoy. Even the sublime strawberry, while on average better, due to the ease in which it is enjoyed at its peak ripeness, simply cannot compare to a peach that is discovered to have every working variable at its apex of enjoyment.

Between the texture, the flavor, the juiciness, and perhaps even the rarity of a prime peach, it is hard to imagine a better piece of food.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Star of the Show? Who Else?

You can have your Hilary. You can have your Mark Warner. You can even have your Michelle Obama. But give me Dennis Kucinich any day of the week.




Note: Line of the night and probably the line of the convention from Ted Strickland: "George Bush started on third base, and then he stole second."

Better Know a PUMA! A Multiple Choice Quiz




So these PUMA people are getting a good amount of coverage from the media. So if you think you know PUMA, feel free to take this complimentary PUMA quiz. And if you are unsure what a PUMA is, feel free to cheat and look at the answers. So let's get started.

1) PUMA is ....
A) a grassroots organization of disgruntled Hillary supporters.

B) a group of anti-Barack Obama Democrats

C) supporting John McCain
D) pretty damned pathetic.

E) All of the above.


Answer: E) All of the above. The PUMAs are all of those things. They love Hilary. So much so that they won't even listen to her.


2) PUMA claims ...
A) The media portrayed Clinton in an unfair light.
B) Barack Obama is a "registered" Muslim.

C) Barack Obama stole the Democratic primary election by actually winning it.
D) All of the above.


Answer: D) All of the above. Yes, they aren't happy that their person lost and apparently they think that Obama should say, "you know what, just kidding. I actually didn't really want to be president, so here you go."


3) PUMA consists primarily of...
A) Racists
B) Republicans

C) Retards


Answer: Not sure about this one. Although at least if they were racists or Republicans they'd have a congitive excuse for their existence. What's incredible is that the Republican National Comittee is intent on getting them on their side by talking about what a great American Hilary is. Let me repeat that: Republicans are now praising Hilary. Republicans can't fucking stand Hilary. They've spend millions of dollars trashing her specifically. And now the PUMAs are being swayed by the Republican party?

"Look, never mind that I hit your mother with a baseball bat, do you want to be friends now?"

4) PUMA represents ...
A) The white working class.

B) Upset Democrats.
C) 16 people.


Answer: C) 16 people. Yeah, it's hard to find a groundswell of actual support. They claim to have "millions" of members but there's nothing substantiating that. In fact, whenever I see them on TV, it's usually like 4 of them. And the PUMA conference consisted of a few people and a registered Republican.

5) PUMA is based in....
A) a large swath of American territory.
B) New York.

C) Will Bower's basement.


Answer: C. And it's not really relevant, check out this awesome T-shirt.


Pretty effective, eh? Man, I hope I can get one of those shirts before they sell out.


6) When you actually Google "PUMA" which of the following do you see before you actually find a PUMA website.
A) Shoe websites.
B) The wikipedia entry for cougars.

C) An article about Ussain Bolt.

D) Information about the Beijing Olympics in general.

E) A youtube video of a bear fighting a puma.
F) All of the above.


Answer: F) All of the above. In fact, the bear/puma video is pretty awesome. Let's que that up.




Also warrants mentioning that the bear/puma video has about 1.5 million more views than any of the PUMA youtube videos.


7) Given the rather small number of PUMAs and their minimal financial heft the correct reaction by media outlets during the DNC should be ...
A) Feature them and their leader(s) for a few minutes and let them have their brief say.
B) Put them on the screen every 15 minutes and continue to talk about them every hour.


Answer: You'd think that the answer would be A) but apparently FoxNews and MSNBC have different ideas.

8) You probably aren't too smart if ...
A) Chris Matthews makes you look stupid.

B) David Schuster makes you look stupid.

C) Both.

D) Either.


Answer: D). Yet the PUMAs have managed to achieve C). By Matthews and Schuster. And it really wasn't that hard for them. Yesterday Matthews asked a PUMA to verify their claim that Obama was a "registered Muslim" and the PUMA said "Well I'm not going to tell YOU!" Of course.

9) PUMAs want ...
A) Hillary to be president.

B) John McCain to be president.
C) A book deal.


Answer: B) and C). It's been established that most PUMA visitors are probably Republicans who think this is a clever way to make noise. That would imply B). However, anyone that doesn't think the actual PUMA leaders are going to try to push some sort of book that will most assuredly be discredited, you're kidding yourself.

10) The effect PUMA will have on the November election will be ...
A) Significant.

B) Insignificant.

Answer: B) I'm going out on a limb here and saying that the PUMA people are in New York and California primarily. And unless either of those states swing by three or fewer votes, their effect will be negligible.

I hope you enjoyed the BKAP! Quiz. Don't worry, if you didn't do so well there are always retakes.

Friday, August 22, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "The Largest Text Message Ever" Edition

(More pointless updates below!)





Really, we can't imagine a more anticipated, and more widely sent text message than the one that's set to go within the next 24 hours. We speak of course of the Obama VP announcement. In fact, it's so anticipated, it might be sent while we're writing this post. It's 8:44 Mountain Time right here. Meaning It's 7:44 on the West coast and mid morning in the East Coast. Seems like an ideal time.

We're not sure this was the best strategy. We've always been in favor of announcing a VP early so voters get as comfortable as possible. But then, how many phone numbers and emails has the Obama campaign collected over the past month? How many million?

(We just checked our email to see if the announcement was made.)

Those phone numbers and emails are not trivial. As much as the polls have been tightening up over the past few weeks, there's a consensus that Obama's ground game is vastly superior to McCain's. We're not sure if that'll show up in the polls ever, but many argue that was the difference between Kerry winning all the exit polls and Bush winning the actual election.

As for the VP selection itself, Nate Silver of Baseball Prospectus and FiveThirtyEight.com (which has become the place for polling projections) summarizes the short list VP choices and the potential subsequent reactions well:

Biden: Back-slapping approval. Media seems eager to play up Biden's Scranton roots, etc., rather than his long tenure in Washington. This is a nontrivial element in his favor.

Clinton: Shock and awe. Mostly awe. Some people who felt used in the whole Biden/Bayh/Kaine wild goose chase might be a little bitchy. Buzz might last straight through the Republican convention.

Bayh: Disappointed. Choice will be seen as safe, unadaptive. The whole late roll-out and text message process might be portrayed as a gimmick. Low expectations for his speech, which might actually be his best chance to turn things around.

Kaine: "Obama going with his gut/heart/etc." Obvious questions about experience, whether Kaine is too eager to please. Media may not know he's a strong speaker, which could give him a chance to impress.

Sebelius: Bemused, wait-and-see. Hardest to predict, highest degree of difficulty. A lot of attention will be paid to her speech, the baton-pass from the Clintons at the convention.

To be honest deep down we're not sure (hold on, checking the email again... no? ok... ) it's going to be any of these guys and gals. Something tells us it's going to be none of the above. Pundits are often wrong about such things. However, we think it is probably that it will be someone that is already a relatively known quantity, since it's so close to the convention.

We're still hoping for a show stopper like Al Gore, Colin Powell, or even Chuck Hagel. And while we're not holding our breath, if we were, it apparently won't have to be for much longer.

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P.S. Our most loyal reader, "sk" made the point that McCain would run circles around Obama in the debates. We have to say, if the Saddleback debacle (and we really can't deny it as such, it was a mess for so many reasons on all sides) is any indication, he's right. The debates are a ways away and Obama needs to learn that intelligent, nuanced, and, most of all, lengthy answers to esoteric questions are not what the American public want to hear. They want pithy half-truths or false comparisons (i.e. "evil" = "radical Islam" or "Which justices would you not appoint" = "all the liberal and moderate ones" or "anything" = "story about how he was a POW"). If Obama's going to win, he needs to be more certain, more indignant, and quicker.

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Caribou - "Kid, You'll Move Mountains"



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(Update: Texas Congressman Chet Edwards name popped up again. While he certainly wouldn't fit the "known quantity" description, we love Chet. Always have.)

(Update #2: OK nothing really to update, except that I went to the grocery store. I was hoping to be in a crowded public place when everyone got their text message. Although, I should have gone to Whole Foods instead of King Sooper and hung out in the Arugula section.)

(Update #3: Well, it's looking like it's not today. Tomorrow morning we suppose. Stay tuned...)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Will The Internets Destroy Politics?

We had this conversation with Mrs. Supercomputer the other day. But, with the advent of social networking sites (like Facebook) and bloviating sites (like Blogger), it's easy to see how this could take down pretty much every politician.

I mean, look at this blog. If we ever tried to run for office, all our opponent would have to do is find this blog, search for the word, "fuck" and that would be pretty much it. Don't think this isn't going to be a problem when we run against Chelsea in 2032. And we can probably rule out us carrying West Virginia. But they can go fuck themselves.

But it's not just us. Let's take U.S. Senate nominee (R-CO) Bob Schaffer. Now, we know nothing about him, but we do know that you can access his son's (thankfully) archived Facebook page here. In it we find all sorts of racist, offensive bullshit. And we also find that he just left the "Pole Dancers for Jesus" group.

But then, Justin Schaffer's probably a retarded 19 year old. So you can certainly cut him some slack. But were this the presidential nominiee's son, that would be a serious issue for the 24 hour cable news shows. Even the political candidates' retarded 19 year old son would get him or her in trouble.

In a few years, it'll be hard to imagine anyone not having some sort of online persona created. Whether it be Facebook, or Myspace, or Blogger, or Wordpress, or even Netflix, everyone in the U.S. will have uploaded stuff online, only to be parsed by investagatory journalists, either now or in the future.

Can you imagine the treasure trove of a presidential candidate's previously undiscovered blog? The anonymous blowharding that takes place in the Internet 3.0 might not be so anonymous when said blowhard is running for office.

Friday, August 15, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "Colorado Weather 1, DMS 0" Edition

It's the middle of August, right? Because last I checked, my entire undercarriage is freezing.

You see, I went ahead and checked the date. Sure enough, it's Friday, August 15th. The Summer Olympics are going on. I repeat: the Summer Olympics. So this morning when it was a bit drizzly outside, we thought, "Meh. A little cool morning precipitation will be nice on my usually sweaty ride to work (artist rendering shown on the right)." It turns out that it's 50 degrees outside. We're wearing, you know, cloth. Cloth soaks up water. So within 30 seconds, we're freezing, soaked, and only 30 seconds into our daily commute to work. And we surely didn't bring our jacket because, like we said: it's fucking August. By the time we actually get to work, everything below the waist is so cold, it might constitute as another form of birth control.

And of course, the building where we blog work was built in the 70's or something. And we all know that any building built before 1996 has two HVAC settings: frickin' cold in the Summer and devil's armpit hot in the Winter. And usually the thermostat (and by "thermostat" I really mean, big on/off switch) is controlled by a guy no less than 600 miles away. In fact, I'm pretty sure the guy lives in the Southern Hemisphere. The bonus is this: the last 200 yards of my daily bike is a steep uphill that would make Lance Armstrong have to pop another 10000 daily calories. So even in the freezing cold drizzle, I sweat. Then I get to climb in the building with the HVAC set for "Summer freezing" temperature. So I'm soaked, cold, and generally miserable. All my colleagues were looking at me with the same unstated thought: "Stupid fucking Texan."

We're totally unprepared for this place. I can't imagine what it's going to be like in the Winter (which probably starts in a couple weeks).

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Anyone who follows this blog regularly (which, if you discount people with the same last name, is basically two people) know that I'm a sucker for a several things musically. We're suckers for crescendo rock. We're suckers for heavy instrumentation. We're suckers for white guys remixing rap songs. We're suckers for rappers remixing indie songs. We're suckers for Sufjan Stevens. We're suckers for songs in movies and TV shows. We're suckers for covers.

And what we're really suckers for is female artists doing acoustic covers of songs who aren't Alanis Morrisette. Which brings us to Australia's Lenka. Her cover of Modest Mouse's already-awesome "Gravity Rides Everything" is fantastic. In fact, I think we can make that a hard-fast rule: whenever a female artist does an acoustic cover of a Modest Mouse song, she's gonna get the MP3 of the Week.

Her debut album comes out in September. She's definitely one to keep an eye on. Have a listen.

Lenka - "Gravity Rides Everything" (Modest Mouse Cover)



Tuesday, August 12, 2008

John McCain Really Likes ABBA: There Shall Be No More Discussion of Whom to Vote For

At least, there shouldn't be. Blender got each candidate's top 10 music picks. Shown below:

- Wait, let's just see if you can guess whose is whose.
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____ _____'s Top Ten
1. Dancing Queen ABBA
2. Blue Bayou Roy Orbison
3. Take a Chance On Me ABBA
4. If We Make It Through December Merle Haggard
5. As Time Goes By Dooley Wilson
6. Good Vibrations The Beach Boys
7. What A Wonderful World Louis Armstrong
8. I've Got You Under My Skin Frank Sinatra
9. Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes The Platter

____ _____'s Top Ten
1. Ready or Not Fugees
2. What's Going On Marvin Gaye
3. I'm On Fire Bruce Spingsteen
4. Gimme Shelter Rolling Stones
5. Sinnerman Nina Simone
6. Touch the Sky Kanye West
7. You'd Be So Easy to Love Frank Sinatra
8. Think Aretha Franklin
9. City of Blinding Lights U2
10. Yes We Can will.i.am

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OK, now take a look and just see if you can guess which candidate belongs to which list. Go ahead and try. (Psst: I'll give you a hint, John McCain's never heard of the Fugees I think it's pretty fair to assume).

Yes, if you guessed McCain as List #1, you'd be right. Let's just take a look at McCain's list first. I know it doesn't really need to be stated, but two ABBA songs? And this is from a guy trying to get the conservative base on his side? And come on, you could have picked just one song made post 1970? Just one? Aren't you trying to prove you're not old? You could have even had one of your younger surrogates pick it for you. You really should have at least chosen a Brittney Spears song. Who does ABBA get you? The older gay Republican votes? Roy Orbison? Could you be any older?

The contrast is about as clear as it gets when you look at Obama's list. The Fugees. Kanye West. U2. Bruce. Pretty damn awesome list. By the way, what's the over/under on the number of Obama artists that John McCain recognizes? I'm going to say five.

(Ed. note: Some would argue that a candidate's music picks has no bearing on who you should vote for. Normally we would agree. But normally a presidential candidate would not have AB-fucking-BA be gold and bronze on their list.)

Monday, August 11, 2008

That Was Pretty Amazing: "The Frenchies Were Talking Stuff"

I've never had more fun watching a bunch of guys without their shirts on since .... perhaps I've said too much. (scroll on down to the Mens 4x100 relay)

Exclusive Summer Olympics news & widgets at NBC Olympics.com!




(Update: OK so you can't just embed the video, so you have to go here first then watch the video.)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "Death" Edition


We, like Jon up there, have been thinking about death a bit. Not a lot, just a bit. I mean, in the past two days we've lost Bernie Mac and now Isaac Hayes. That totally sucks. How are we expected to go on knowing that at any moment we could become like one of them? I mean, should we be freaking out every single moment about the possibility of our imminent demise? If I really understood this whole "death" thing, I think I would never ever work again and just spend every day backpacking in the Rocky Mountains or something. And I'd for sure stop facebooking.

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Mirah's been one of our favorites for a while and was a bit surprised when we realized hadn't thrown up one of her tracks yet. We really apologize for that. Won't happen again.

Mirah hasn't put out a new album in a few years, but C'mon Miracle was and is one of our favorites. She's versatile, creative, witty, and Jewish. She's, like Elaine Benes, quite the shiksa.

Mirah - "Look Up"

Friday, August 08, 2008

Flash Forward: DMS in 10 Years! "The Car Trip"

(We're trying right now to picture what our life is going to be like 10 years from now. Thankfully, we can see in the future so we don't have to think too hard. Here's a glimpse of what we saw.)

Somewhere between South Dakota and Arizona....


DMS: Hey. Hey! HEY! I said stop yelling!

Can you do something about this? I know - I didn't say it was your job. I was just - no ... no ... yes. Fine! I'm sorry! Just can you do something about this??!

Yes, sweetie? You want a snack? OK, how about an apple? What about some carrots? No? You want a cheeseburger? Well sweeties that's not really a - why are you crying. Stop crying. This is no reason to cry. Stop crying. Please. Stop - ... can you make her stop crying?

Hey! Stop throwing things! Be nice to your sister! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I swear I'll turn this damn car around!! I will! You think I'm joking?! Make another noise and we'll see how much I'm joking!!!

Look, just give him his XBox-mini-720 and he'll be fine. And you can listen to this Apple Martin album. What? I just bought it! What do you mean she's a sell out?! You love Apple! Where on earth did you hear something like that?

What? Ohhhh.... Daddy was just kidding. It was just a joke. Daddy looooves Apple. No, that comment I made about her sitcom being just a means to acquire more drooling teeny-bopper fans in between Pepsi commercials was totally a joke.

STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER!!!! Man, I'm so glad I got that vasectomy!!

What? No... no, Daddy was just kidding again. I know you want a little sister, but I just don't think it's in God's plans, honey...

Look, I apologized. Alright, what do you want me to do?

Where are we anyway?

(Right about here the vision begins to fade out. But it certainly appears to be an enchanted life.)

Sunday, August 03, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "6 Years" Edition


It's been six years since we dropped the moniker "Bachelor" Supercomputer for the more commonly known "Mr." And amazingly, we're still not a bachelor and not poisoned in my sleep. So a big "Thank You" and "I'll try harder" to Mrs. Supercomputer for putting up with this shit (and this shit) for six long years.

We've (we're using the "plural" form of "we" now) lived in about eight different residences. We've obtained one advanced degree and are starting work on another. We've had two children, countless jobs, and probably a fair number of fights too. We've gotten fat and thin and fat and thin together via pregnancy and Tikka Masaala. We've been to the movie theater, like, four times. Our eye prescriptions have both plummeted a couple points and will probably continue to do so. We've been to zoos, baseball stadiums, museums, national parks, both coasts, sea level and one of the highest points in the continental U.S. We've had one car, two cars, and no cars. We've ordered hundreds of delivery Chinese meals and invariably ended up throwing away the leftovers and had several cavities. We've Netflixed exactly 198 movies starting with Three Kings and Shaun of the Dead (both rated 4 stars).

You really can squeeze a lot in to six years when you're not thinking about it. The MP3 of the Week is one of the ones that was at our wedding commemorating Day 1 of this union. And even on Day 2192 I am still amazed, surprised, and enamored.

Tom Petty - "Wildflowers"

Saturday, August 02, 2008

That John McCain is Turning Out to be Quite the Douchebag



We had liked John McCain for a long time. For the same reason that conservatives loathed him, we liked him. And part of it was just because his own party didn't like him and he didn't mind.

He stood up to the evangelical right. He compromised. He ran positive campaigns.

Now he's doing none of the above. He's running an issue-less campaign directed at bringing down his opponent rather that tout his plan for America. It's a tactic that Karl Rove employed against him in 2000 and railroaded him right out of the nomination. But now he's embraced it, presumably in desperation.

What's unfortunate is that negative campaigns often work and it looks like it might be working. I'm disappointed Obama hasn't done the 10 Town Hall thing because I think if they actually start talking about issues, rather than Paris Hilton, Obama would make short work of McCain. I mean, if you say things like "the Iraqi-Pakistan border" on a nationally televised debate, that's pretty much all she wrote.

So Barack, please accept the McCain proposal for a bunch of debates because the more people actually vote on issues, the more of a landslide this election could be.