Sunday, June 29, 2008

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over

I hope you guys have been all camel-esque in your reading of this blog. Because like the camel which may only see water once every few months and must store up the water in their humps, so to must our loyal readership drink up the few posts we have made in this month of June. We really do apologize for that. But at least you can't say you weren't warned. It's been quite a month too, both in the DMS world and in the world at large. So before we truly say goodbye to this month, it's important that we give it its proper due. In that vain, here are some prevailing thoughts that we've had as of late.

Hilary finally dropped out of the race and is $20 million in debt. Yeah, she's the one with experience to manage a budget.

Moving with two kids. Don't do it. Once you have that second kid, just stay there for 20 years (unless you have another one of course).

Either my readership is very understanding by not demanding more posts, or my readership has their standards set pretty low for DMS.

OK so Karl Rove is a "Fox Political Analyst?" That's OK? A guy that could be prosecuted for high crimes in the next few years is an analyst for Fox News?

Related: people that watch Fox News have to be kidding themselves, don't they?

That Obama guy is sure one patriotic Muslim.

Speaking of which, I'm glad Barack decided to share his 4th Grade English essay. I think I had that same prompt.

Thomas Friedman has the best take on the US energy situation I've seen. And he's about as free-market as they come.

If we're so damn smart, why don't we migrate like the birds do?

There is no need to ever live in a place inhabited by cockroaches.

Coloradoans hate Texans. I should shoot them with my Colt .45.

Wait, wait, wait.... Mr. Sulu's gay????

This election is just ridiculous at this point.

Did Wes Clark really say anything, you know, negative about McCain?

For anyone interested in going to the Westwood Class of '98 reunion, you can get details here. It has one post and was last updated February 24.

Can someone make my baby stop crying? No? Ok, thanks anyway.

Rank the following states in order of their aesthetic appeal: Colorado, Kansas, Texas, Oklahoma (that's actually the right answer, except it could use a bit better formatting:

Colorado..............................., Kansas, Texas, Oklahoma)

Cable is a very, very dangerous thing. Now I know why we're so fat.

Speaking of which, here are our favorite time-wasting cable shows: Dirty Jobs, The Next Food Network Star, Countdown with Keith Olbermann (have you ever seen a better furrowed brow?), My Friend Rabbit (not a cable show, actually a kids show, sometime I watch it even when the girl is doing something else), Reno 911, Survivorman.

I've been downloading Mozilla Firefox 3.0 for three days now.

Middle East Conflict Intensifies, Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc..


We hope you all had a good month. We're not sure what kind of blogging traction we'll be able to get but we promise it'll be a damn sight better than June's pathetic showing.

Friday, June 20, 2008

10 Years Ago

The year is 2008. The year was 1998 when Dear Mr. Supercomputer graduated High School. It was right around this time of year too. Some Class of 98'ers have even discussed going to the 10 year reunion which as of now, still has yet to be planned apparently. While I think even the consideration of going to any kind of High School reunion is patently ridiculous, it did get us thinking about how different life was back then. WorldCom was a burgeoning empire of telecommunications. No one knew what a blog was. Terrell Davis broke the 2000 yard rushing mark. Yes it was a vastly different world than the one we live in now.

But more specifically, we began to reflect on the differences in our own life. After all, 10 years ago we were in the process of making a life altering delving into acedemia, which is what we're doing now. So we thought we'd compare several important aspects of our life to determine how different things are now for DMS. And more importantly, make some sort of semi-arbitrary decision as to which year was better:


or 2008?

Upcoming Educational Location

1998: Baylor University
2008: Colorado State University

Analysis: I wonder what it will be like to go to a real University. You know, the kind where the editorial section of the newspapers aren't bombarded with anti/pro-sports bra on the jogging trail propoganda day after day. The kind of University that doesn't institute PARTY 2000 helicopters to crack down on people drinking in their apartments. A University where people don't dress up to go to the cafeteria to make it appear as if they went to church. A University that isn't glorified High School. That'll be exciting. Edge 2008.

Upcoming Educational Endeavor
1998: Engineering; then Physics; then Math/Physics Education
2008: Atmospheric Science

Analysis: We'll see how much we enjoy the Atmos program at CSU. It's highly regarded nationally and we'll have access to top notch facilities. Meanwhile the Education program at Baylor is probably one of the worst of any major University. At least it was when DMS attended. Baylor had just received it's accreditation back after losing it briefly, which is really tough to do. In order to lose your accreditation, you have to have a lot of students fail the certification test which itself is tough to do. So essentially it means you ran a lot of morons through the program, which is exactly the way it was. I can't believe some of these people that were in my classes have college degrees. It kind of cheapens the whole concept of an advanced degree. Moreover, we spent exactly zero seconds teaching a class before we became a teacher. Probably not a good sign. Things are surely different now, but in 1998-2002, it was a joke of a program. Edge 2008.

Romantic Involvement
1998: Other than the latent crush on Jenna Elfman, nothing doing.
2008: Married happily, yet still harboring a crush on Jenna Elfman

Analysis: I was blessed/cursed not to have any romantic involvement whilst in High School/College. While I loved/hated it at the time, I now realize that it was important for my own development/self-pity. On the other hand, it did promote my own self-pity/development. These days, the wife and I are happily/vehemently joined in the bonds of holy wedlock/parenthood. Edge 2008. (It should be noted that I married someone who looks like Jenna Elfman. And acts like Dharma.)

1998: Austin, TX
2008: Fort Collins, CO

Analysis: While it's still Summer and we probably should withhold judgment until one full calendar year has passed, winter solstice and all, Fort Collins has an early lead. What it's lacking in culture, it makes up for in Not Being So Fucking Hot All The Time. Moreover, in 1998 it wasn't really Austin that we were living in. It was more like Round Rock. And even still, Austin as an 18 year old isn't exactly everything it is at 22+. Edge 2008.

Just finished...
1998: Attending High School
2008: Inflicting High School on others

Analysis: High School sucks. The thing I liked most about attending High School was my Senior year because I could take two off periods so I could attend High School less frequently. Which I did. On the flip side, earning money for causing others to experience High School is way better. And you don't go through puberty when you're teaching. Edge 2008.

1998: 0
2008: 2

Analysis: Depends on which days and what times you would ask me to compare the two statuses. I love my kids. But let's just call this one a draw.

(Update: Baby Supercomputer just shit on me after crying for an hour and a half. Let's change this to Edge 1998 for now until they do something cute.)

Cleveland Sports Scene
1998: The Indians has just lost the World Series in 7 games. The Cavs were the most boring and worst team in basketball. The Browns didn't exist.
2008: The Indians just lost in the ALCS in 7 games. The Cavs have the best player in the league. The Browns exist.
Analysis: I'm not sure this one even merits discussion. The Browns thing alone puts this one in the 2008 column.

Political Involvement
1998: None.
2008: Some.
Analysis: My Government class in High School was ridiculous. The only thing I remember from that class is that I got put in timeout once. Yes. Timeout. As an Eight-fucking-teen year old. And moreover, it wasn't my fault. I know people that can attest. Ten years later, we watch George and up until a week ago Tim on Sunday mornings. Now that we have cable I even flip over to Fox News to see how long I can stand it without placing an anvil on my face. I even gave money to the Obama campaign, hoping that I would be the 1,000,000th donor. Sadly, I was the 1,268,117th donor. We even attended something called a caucus. Edge 2008.

U.S. Political Regime
1998: Democratic executive, Republican Congress
2008: Republican executive, Democratic Congress
Analysis: Sort of a mixed bag in both cases. But no way can someone argue the 1990's were worse than the Aughts. In the Aughts we started off with an illegitimate election and are going to end with an illegitimate war. And the Democratic Congress is too much of a bunch of pussies to change anything. (Ed. note: Dennis Kucinich ain't no pussy.) I say for the 2008 election we go back and elect Democrat Barack Obama and bum rush the Congress and get Strom Thurmond back in there. Edge 1998.

Financial Situation
1998: None
2008: Less than none

Analysis: At least in 1998 I didn't actually owe anyone money. Now we owe all sorts of people/institutions money. We're hoping that we can just keep taking out student loans until we get hit by a bus, thereby nullifying our debt. Edge 1998.

Social Involvement
1998: Youth Group
2008: Accompanied by drinking

Analysis: Youth group was great, don't get me wrong. But social gatherings are better when they're subsidized by alcohol rather than Surge and O.K. Cola. Edge 2008.

Civic Involvement
1998: Youth Group
2008: Drinking

Analysis: I drink locally? Edge 1998.

Alcoholic Beverage of Choice
1998: Smirnoff Ice
2008: Beer

Analysis: Man, I thought I was so cool when I first drank Smirnoff Ice. I really did. I actually. Thought. I. Was. Cool. What. A. Poser. Edge 2008.

Nine to Ten O'Clock Viewing
1998: Simpsons / Seinfeld
2008: Daily Show /Colbert Report
Analysis: The 9-10 hour TV viewing in the 1990's was revolutionary. It was like the 5 o'clock news for teenagers. The pairing of Simpsons and Seinfeld was a stroke of genius the likes of Stephen Hawking. At school we would always go back and recite all the quotes from the previous nights' Simpsons and Seinfeld. Of all the horrendous things Fox has ever done (ahem... canceling Arrested Development), this is the greatest gift they ever gave the world.

All that said, Stewart/Colbert takes it to a new level that cannot be accurately described in human tongue. Simpsons/Seinfeld was great for its time, but Daily Show/Colbert Report is the essence of the 9:00 hour. Edge 2008.

Meal during viewing
1998: Ramen noodles, open faced peanut butter sandwich, orange Gatorade
2008:Ramen noodles, open faced peanut butter sandwich, orange Gatorade

Analysis: Yup, we had this just the other night, like we did 10 years ago. The difference is, now it's just kind of sad. Edge 1998.


So there you have it. 2008 wins by a relative landslide 10 to 5 over 1998. Life is assuredly better now for DMS than it was in 1998. I think we should all take solace in that.

Monday, June 02, 2008

MP3 of the Next Couple Weeks: "Goodbye Austin" Edition

Dear Mr. Supercomputer is going to be shutting things down for a couple weeks while we move DMS headquarters from Austin, TX to Fort Collins, CO. During our journey westward, we'll be making stops in Dallas and Topeka and we might just intentionally drive into a ditch if things get too hairy with Girl Supercomputer and Boy Supercomputer in the back seat.

It's probable we'll not be delivering our insight for a couple weeks while we get everything settled, which is a shame because the next couple weeks looks like they'll be shaping up nicely for DMS-nation (hint: see picture on right of the heavens obviously endorsing their candidate).

It'll be tough leaving Austin, the only real home we've ever known. We have strong roots here. It's probably the greatest city in the world when you don't include geography and climate. Things I'll miss about Austin (uh-oh, you know it's a tender moment when we switch to the singular):

The Zilker Park train
Katz's at 2 AM
Magnolia Cafe at either 1 AM or 8:30 AM
KGSR 107.1
Mexican food
The Parish
Amy's Ice Cream
Kerby Lane's short stack preceded by Kerby Queso
Hole in the Wall
The Drag
W. 2222
KUT 90.5
Austin City Limits (the show and the fest)
Peter and the Wolf
The Saxon Pub
"Ice Days"
Town / Lady Bird Johnson Lake
Civic involvement
The Ginger Man
Burger Tex
First Thursdays
The 10
SXSW free day shows
Summer Texas rains
Mayor Will Wynn
Waterloo Music
Austin Java Co.
Barton Springs
Clay Pit
Our house
The Austin Chronicle

I'm sure there are countless others that I've missed that I won't realize until after we've already vacated the premises.

But we expect Fort Collins to be everything it's cracked up to be. Even still, we'll miss you Austin.

John Prine - "Clay Pigeons"

We'll see you all in a couple weeks.