Friday, April 25, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "3 AM" Edition

You know that Hilary Clinton ad where your kids are safe and sound and asleep and we're about to get the shit nuked out of us? Man, I wish my kids would sleep like that. It's been months since anyone in the Supercomputer household has had a decent night's sleep. We're all tired. Forget answering the red phone, Hilary, can you just feed my baby at 3 AM when he wakes up screaming? You'd have my vote.


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Let's bring it down for the MP3 of the Week this week. Let's get some culture. From the Amelie soundtrack composed by Yann Tiersen, "Comptine D'Un Autre: L'Apres Midi."

Yann Tiersen - "Comptine D'Un Autre: L'Apres Midi"





Saturday, April 19, 2008

MLB Predictions

The predictions were made before the season started. I think that should be clear with having the Indians reach 90 wins. Were we to make the predictions today, we'd put them at 83 or so because they look terrible. And for the non-baseball fans who are wondering why such posts are compromising the usually high journalistic standards of DMS: tough. Baseball's going to be around for the next 8 months, so get used to it. You're going to have to suffer through innumerable posts about the Indians and how Tim McCarver is totally not smart.

American League East
Boston Red Sox 95 - 67 <--
New York Yankees 87 - 75
Toronto Blue Jays 84 - 78
Tampa Bay Rays 77 - 85
Baltimore Orioles 62 - 100


American League Central
Detroit Tigers 91 - 71 <--
Cleveland Indians 90 - 72 <~
Kansas City Royals 75 - 87
Minnesota Twins 75 - 87
Chicago White Sox 74 - 88


American League West

Anaheim Angels 89 - 73 <--
Seattle Mariners 81 - 81
Oakland Athletics 80 - 82
Texas Rangers 64 - 98


National League East

New York Mets 92 - 70 <--
Philadelphia Phillies 88 - 74 <~
Atlanta Braves 87 - 75
Washington Nationals 80 - 82
Florida Marlins 72 - 90


National League Central
Chicago Cubs 87 - 75 <--
Cincinnati Reds 85 - 77
Milwaukee Brewers 85 - 77
St. Louis Cardinals 73 - 89
Houston Astros 72 - 90
Pittsburgh Pirates 68 - 94



National League West

Arizona Diamondbacks 89 - 73 <--
Colorado Rockies 87 - 75
San Diego Padres 87 - 75
Los Angeles Dodgers 85 - 77
San Francisco Giants 69 - 93




PLAYOFFS:

American League Division Series:
Anaheim Angels over Detroit Tigers in 4 games
Boston Red Sox over Cleveland Indians in 4 games

National League Division Series:
Arizona Diamondbacks over Philadelphia Phillies in 3 games
New York Mets over Chicago Cubs in 4 games

American League Championship Series:
Boston Red Sox over Anaheim Angels in 7 games

National League Championship Series:
Arizona Diamondbacks over New York Mets in 6 games

World Series:
Arizona Diamondbacks over Boston Red Sox in 7 games

Friday, April 18, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "What Are You, Retarded?" Edition

From this article entitled, "Ongoing nomination fight hurting Clinton more than Obama" :

"Randi Estes, a Democrat from Ada, Okla., said she prefers Clinton but feels Obama is likely to win the nomination. "He's gotten very strong media coverage, and Bill Clinton's not helping her a bit," said Estes, 36, who has four children under the age of 6.

Speaking of Obama, she said, "I have a sense he's a Muslim.""

Good Lord. You're kidding me, right? We're still there?

Randi, I'm not sure if you've been stuck in a coal mine or are just mentally challenged. Even after all the Reverend Wright stuff, you still think he's a Muslim? Look, you may not agree with the beliefs of his pastor, but that was clearly a black church, not a mosque. I know, it's confusing, Randi. He said "I hate America" (I think he said that in there somewhere) and Muslims all hate America so therefore Obama must be a Muslim who attends a Church of Christ. Brilliant.

Not to be outdone is Allan Lovel from Washington:

"For Allen Lovell, a moderate Democrat in Everett, Wash., race is unimportant, but replacing Bush with a Democrat is vital. And lately he has concluded that Obama probably has the better chance of beating McCain.

He said the Democratic campaign has lasted too long, but there is one topic he'd like to hear more about. Lovell, who guessed that Obama is "either Christian or Muslim," said: "I don't think we're getting enough information on religion" from the candidates."


"Either Christian or Muslim?" Fucking brilliant Allen. We've ruled out Hindu and Snake-handler.

Look, retarded people, I know the name can be confusing at first. But Barack. Obama. Is. Not. A. Muslim. He goes to a black church. Those are not choirs of Middle Eastern women, but rather African-American women. He got in trouble because his CHRISTIAN PASTOR said inflammatory things at a CHURCH on a SUNDAY. How did you people miss that? We couldn't get away from it!

Barack is probably the most evangelically Christian Democratic nominee since I've been born. He talks about God a lot, and rather comfortably.

This is like one of those episodes on Jay Leno where he goes out and talks to people and the people he talks to are dumb and we all laugh.

(ed. note: We apologize for using the term "retarded" to describe Randi and Allan. It's not fair to retarded people.)

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Sia will forever be associated with Six Feet Under and "Breathe Me." And rightfully so. But her new album Some People Have Real Problems is a revelation. She's almost Jeff Buckley-ish in her singing, but more playful. In fact, between the songwriting and instrumentation, I'd say her best comp is probably Austin's one-time local fave, Breedlove.

This week's MP3 is from Sia.

Sia - "Lentil"

Monday, April 14, 2008

What Do You Mean, 'Bitter?'

What are you talking about, Barack? People aren't bitter. It's just your imagination. People walk around like the lead lady from the B-52s in R.E.M.'s "Shiny Happy People" video.



People don't cling to guns.

People don't cling to religion.

We're not bitter about the way things are. We're not bitter about our electoral political system. Nope, not us. Not Dear Mr. Supercomputer.

Oh.. wait.

Shit.

OK, we're bitter. But you don't have to go and remind us that we're bitter and we all basically hate each other.

Anyway, I suppose the general prevailing political sentiment of vitriol, bitterness, and condescension is a great time to celebrate Dear Mr. Supercomputer's 200th post! Woo hoo!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "You Wake Up and Realize 'We Are That Family'" Edition

Sentence Completion. Complete this sentence with the best possible choice.

Q: You know it's been a while since you've mowed your lawn when....

[A] ... it takes you 20 minutes to start your lawn mower.
[B] ... your neighbor offers to help you start your lawn mower (it should be noted that your neighbor is 82 years old).
[C] ... once you start mowing your lawn, birds start descending upon the mowed parts due to the trillions of newly exposed insect denizens that were in the process of replicating the Amazon jungle.
[D] ... upon mowing it there is a distinct smell of onions, despite your not having a garden.
[E] ... upon completion your 82 year old neighbor offers to lend you his weed eater.
[F] ... any of the above.
[G] ... all of the above.


I'm not sure what the correct answer is. I suspect [F], but my scantron only goes to [E]. In any case, the Supercomputer household was definately in category [G] until this morning.

Thank goodness the ultra-creepy Google Maps Street View Army weren't out in my neighborhood yesterday.

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Among the literally hundreds of Paul Simon's 'Graceland' covers, none have resinated quite like version by Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. It's ambitious, unique, heartfelt, and totally captures the emotions of this great song in a new light.

Perhaps others would disagree, but here it is.

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - "Graceland"

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Shit.

Hate to advertise a website twice in a row, but yesterday's garfield minus garfield was extremely apropos.


You can read about the gory details here.

Silly me, I thought it would stop raining crap at the end of last month.

Still, I should be thankful that I have a wonderful family, a house, my health, and a backlog of good karma purportedly just around the corner.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Three Blog Endorsements

We like to cross promote blogs here at DMS, particularly those of the daily visit worthy variety. Here are three.

First: Crummy Church Signs.



Next: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary"Quotation Marks.



Finally, my favorite: Garfield Minus Garfield



Monday, April 07, 2008

Why Hillary Clinton Should Be Winning: A Rebuttal

Having just recently praised Salon.com for the most insightful piece I saw on the Reverend Wright / Obama stuff, I am saddened to read this article, probably the worst piece of internet journalism from a repudiated website I've seen.

The premise is fine: If the Democratic primary were winner-take-all contests, Hillary would be ahead. However, instead of a thought provoking discussion of the primary season, it reads like something directly from the Clinton campaign.

My letter to the editor is below. Please consider writing one yourself if you are similarly moved by this wretched piece of shab-journalism.

Wait, Obama's the one playing old school politics?

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with a candidate arguing this way. But everybody should see it for what it is -- not something new or transformative, but one of the oldest ploys in the playbook of American politics.

No one can argue the math within this article. Maybe there are snippets here and there that we can quibble about, but the basic premise is correct: if the primaries were a Republical-style, draconian winner-take-all system, this contest would surely be over.

However, everything else about the article is misleading at best, patently ridiculous, absurd, and petty at worst.

To accuse the Obama campaign of bullying would be like the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth accusing the Kerry campaign of running false advertisements. I'm not sure how the author can write this after Nevada and South Carolina, and Texas, where the Clinton campaign threatened to sue the state Democratic party. Or suggesting repeatedly that caucuses are undemocratic (all that civic participation is certainly a nuisance).

The truth is the entire Super Tuesday system was such an advantage to Clinton, it's hard to feel much sympathy. Clinton has had so many embedded advantages - perhaps more than any other candidate in history - that the whining falls on deaf ears. To hear Clinton blatantly backtrack on Michigan and Florida, it reeks of such pandering and political maneuvering that it has alienated everyone but Clinton's supporters.

In fact, it's quite incredible, with the natural advantages that she's had that this race has gone this far. However, contrary to what the author infers, the Obama campaign has gone about its business collecting win after win of small states. It's clear that the Clinton campaign did not plan for a post-Super Tuesday scenario while the Obama campaign clearly did. They didn't complain about Super Tuesday, how it is so biased towards an establishment candidate that it is probably more undemocratic than the caucuses that the Clinton campaign maintains undermine the system.

What makes this article substantively worthless is not simply that it's clear that the author is predisposed towards Hillary Clinton (I've read many Salon.com articles that are openly pro-Obama). It's that it reads like a mailer from the Clinton campaign: Obama can't win big states; the Obama campaign is playing dirty; Obama can't beat McCain.

The author's favorite phrase appears to be "like it or not..." then refers to how Obama is fatally flawed for the November election. Well, like it or not, the Obama campaign has played by the rules and is winning in every possible sense of the word.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

A Special Moment With My Son



Every night, when I put my son to sleep, we share a special moment. There's a bond between a father and son that cannot really be replicated. There's something unique about that bond. And the moment just when he's about to drift off into sleep is so tender and so sweet that I say a little mantra to myself each night I have the opportunity. It's sort of a way of reminding me of what a truly special moment that is.

I look upon his face when he's just about to nod off. I gently place him in his crib and tuck him in. And just as I let go of him for the last time of the evening, staring at his now shut eyes, I repeat the following little mantra in my head:

"OH GOD!!!! PLEASE STAY ASLEEP!!!!! DON'TWAKEUPDON'TWAKEUPDON'T WAKE UP!!!!!! JUST SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO! TO! SLEEP! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! ANYTHING! JUST FOR EVERYTHING GOOD AND HOLY IN THIS EARTH STAY ASLEEP!!!!!

DON'T MOVE! DON'T MOVE! OH SHIT! STOP SCRATCHING AT YOUR FACE! PLEASE! STOPIT! STOPIT! AAAHHHHH! HE'S WAKING UP!!!! HERE! TAKE THIS PACIFIER!!! OH DEAR LORD PLEASE TAKE THE PACIFIER!!!!! PLEAAAASSE!!!

YES!! THERE YOU GO! SUCK ON THAT PACI!!!!! CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN!!!! THAT'S IT!!! YES!!!! HE'S ASLEEP!!!! YES!!!! OH THANK YOU JESUS OF NAZARETH!!!! HE'S FINALLY ASLEEP!!!! YEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And with that, the little angel drifts off to dream of whatever beautiful babies dream about.

I just wanted to share this little piece of prose with all of you. Thank you.

Friday, April 04, 2008

MP3 of the Week: "Things I've Never Seen" Edition

I'm a little disappointed by what I haven't seen. I have never seen the following:

  • A worm protruding from an apple.
  • A person slipping on a banana peel.
  • Someone spit water out of their mouth after hearing startling news.
  • Someone put a jacket in a puddle so as to allow a dame to step over it.
  • A dog pulling a toddler's diaper down with its teeth, thereby revealing a small but adorable portion of said toddler's bottom.
I feel like I've missed out.

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This week's MP3 is a shout out to Girl Supercomputer. Yes, another Headlights mp3, but it is fitting for this week. Three years ago, to paraphrase Bill Murray in Lost in Translation, my life as I knew it was gone, never to return. And every day that goes by, I am more and more thankful for that.


Headlights - "On April 2"

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

CUTE KITTENS!!!!!@

OMG! THESE KITTSNES ARE SO CUTE!!!!11

CHECK EM OUT@




WHAT A CUTE KITTY IN THE GRASS!!!! I WANT TO TAKE HER HOME!!!!




AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! CAT INA BOX!




SO CUTR!!!!!



HES SO WITTLE!!!!!!!!


Well hello cutie pie!




awww look he's gonna pounse!!!!! he's soooooo cute1



wook at him staring off i wonder what hes thinking about!?!?!


awww good morning little kitty!!!!!!!


soooooooo cute!@!!@!