Saturday, December 23, 2006

Holiday Wishes - and may all your Festivi be bright

A Holiday Wish .....Steve Martin

Steve Martin: If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids.. second would be for the $30 million.. the third would be for all the power.. and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no.. the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, theyu're not gonna be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It's mroe trouble than it's worth! So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex - we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids.

Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay.. revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony.

Thank you, everybody.

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OK if I can't have any of that stuff, then I'd be happy with the product below.



I'd offer another weekend sketch comedy video related suggestion, but it has been removed from the internet at the behest of Saturday Night Live.
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But you know what, we have all recieved a gift already. And it's the kind that will keep giving into the new year and beyond. One that will enlighten, educate, and entertain.
Yes friends, Tom Delay has decided to join the blogosphere. So now we won't have to only rely on his mug shot to see Jesus in him. We'll be able to look right on his blog, chronicling his distaste of Nancy Pelosi and see Jesus there. And with blog posts such as, "Global Warming: It's all Just Hot Air " I'm having a hard time not genuflecting right here and now.
To be, um, fair, Delay makes maybe only 50% of the blog entries. The rest are by other right wing conservatives who may or may not be currently facing indictment.
So Happy Holidays everyone. I hope you're all able to air your grievances before the Feats of Strength.

2 comments:

gk said...

Oh, and by the way, a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.

Adam said...

I said this to someone recently (when we failed to bring a gift to a gift exchange thing) and she said something about how nice that was and everything. I then had to explain to her that I was refering to a Seinfeld episode. She was less impressed with me after that.

I felt a tad bit stupid.